Being an Exemplary Youth Sport's Parent

Shouting abusive comments, stomping their feet, yelling at the referees, mocking the coach; we all know a negative youth sport's parent when we see one.

These images are never a good sight at a youth basketball game. Other parents sitting in close proximity feel embarrassed to be associated with them. Their own child watches on in bewilderment at the actions of their parent. There’s really no place for a parent that acts this way in youth sports.

Sports are competitive. It’s easy for parents to get caught up in the game, just like the players and coaches do. Every parent wants their child to have success. Unfortunately, this adult fueled competitive nature, and the innate parental desire to see your child to succeed has led many parents to forget what is really important in youth sports.

We also have parents who come to games, sit happily on the sidelines encouraging their kid, and appreciate the enjoyment their child is having no matter what numbers say on the scoreboard. These are the parents we need more of. Here are five ways to be an awesome youth sports parent:

1. Remember that winning isn’t important

It really doesn’t matter if the coach doesn’t start the game with the five best players on the court.

It really doesn’t matter if the referee called a block, when it should have been a charge call.

It really doesn’t matter if the coach drew up a poor play at the end of the first half, which resulted in a turnover.

There are many aspects to youth sports that are far more important than your child’s team winning the basketball game. If your only concern is winning, stay away from youth sports.

2. Focus on your child’s enjoyment

If winning is not the most important thing, what is? Your child’s enjoyment.

How much fun your child is having should be the primary concern of all parents.

Does your child love attending practice? Does your child speak highly of the coach? Do they look forward to every game they play?

It’s better for a child to play on weak team that emphasizes enjoyment, development, and allows the players to develop a passion for the game of basketball, rather than playing for a great team who only prioritizes one or two people taking all of the shots.

What will happen on this ‘great’ team? They’ll win, probably a lot, but many of the players will quickly start to loathe the game of basketball.

3. Don’t pressure your child to perform

It’s all too common to see players being pressured to train more, play harder, score more points, play better defense, and everything else you can think of that a player can ‘do better’.

It costs large amounts of money and time to play on a youth sports team and unfortunately it’s not uncommon for parents to remind their child of this with comments such as: “You know it cost us an arm and a leg to come on this trip. You better make sure it’s worth it”.

When under this pressure, playing isn’t fun anymore, it’s serious. It becomes stressful for the player knowing that if they don’t live up to the parent’s and coach’s expectations then they’re not good enough.

The result? Since the sport isn’t fun anymore, they quit.

4. Don’t try to live out your own dream through your child

If you find that you care more about your child’s sporting achievement than they do, it’s probably time to take a step back.

A lot of parents have regret about missed sporting opportunities when they were younger and vow not to let their son or daughter miss out like they did.

Let them create their own path instead of following the one you design for them in your head.

5. Understand your child (probably) won’t play professionally

Wondering what the chances of your high school player receiving a college scholarship or playing in the NBA are?

It is highly, highly unlikely your child will make a career out of playing sports professionally.

The exact figure? 2 – 3 out of every 10,000 players.

With that in mind, treat youth sports like your child won’t be going pro. Allow them to love the game and learn without the added pressure of making it to the big leagues.